I was born to an extremely poor family in Mexico, my mother was very young as she married and had 3 children with my biological father at 15. My father was a drug abuser and a raging alcoholic.
The first 5 years of my life my older brother and I suffered through my father abusing my mother, it was a constant argument; I don’t believe there was ever a time where my mother was ever treated right. My father would leave us every so often to whore around and get wasted, then he would come home like nothing happened. My mother was such a wonderful young woman that she was tired of being with him and she had the guts to leave Mexico and take us all with her to California.
I was always a troubled child and many times we would scrape change just buy a gallon of milk. My mother did everything she could on her own but then she met a man that had 2 older sons. The older of the 2 was 18 at the time started to molest me every night and threaten me that he would kill my older brother if I told on him. I was 7 years old when this began and it went on for 2 years. My poor mother didn’t know anything and I was so ashamed I couldn’t tell her. But she left that man when I was 9 because his sons were always stealing and the police would constantly come to our house. My mom stayed single for many years, she would keep friends but dated no-one. At the age of 9 I started to sexually experiment with boys and girls, I was so confused and lonely I thought it was okay. I was a horrible child always screaming at my brothers and a horrible daughter. I would be out all night because I didn’t was to go home.
By the time I hit middle school, I started to smoke marijuana at 13, and started drinking at 14, and I constantly wanted to experience a high to numb all of the pain from my past. My attitude was that if no-one cared then why should I. At the age of 14 I started to inhale air fresheners and I did so until I met someone who helped me stop, I then lost my virginity at the age of 15, I was with this guy for 4 years although I was constantly hooking up with other guys and females also, when I was 16 I started to lose a lot of weight and at 17 I was beautiful and I had so much confidence I ended with a 4.0 my senior year. I was off the drugs and alcohol. Although I did forget to mention that at the age of 11 my mother took us to an apostolic church, at 12 I did become baptized although I didn’t quite know exactly what it was I had done. But shortly after I became baptized Satan then started to bring me down with drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity. Although I was clean at the ages of 16 and 17, by the age 18 I was in college and I began drinking at parties and started using cocaine, I became so addicted to cocaine I would do anything for it. I started to sleep with whoever to get the drug, and when I worked all of my money was spent on the drug, by the way my mom had kicked me out of the house by the age of 18 also so I was living from place to place, some night I would just stay in my car. I was in such a dark place at that point, but I managed to look as if I was normal when I was just so lost.
At the age of 19 I became pregnant from one of my drug dealers; I was always on drugs and to spare the chance of my child being born sick I had an abortion. I was broken from this and started to use cocaine and ecstasy really just anything I could find to numb the pain. I was so lost, then a month later I met this guy the day we met we were really interested in each other, the next day I went to go visit him at his place and the funny thing is I never left, lol. The first month we were together was chaotic, we were constantly throwing alcohol parties. However, he did help me get off the cocaine because at three weeks he said “if you’re going to be the mother of my children, you’ve gotta stop” I started crying and just thought how could he just say that to me, we’ll now he is my husband and I’m so grateful for him. So yes I stopped for love. Within a month we became pregnant and I stopped everything and was sober for 2 years, within the 2 year period I was home all the time while he worked and I started to as a lot of questions about the world, then I suddenly got the urge to repent out of no-where as if the Holy Spirit was moving in me. I really can’t explain what happened but right then and there I repented and asked Jesus to forgive me, then right then and there the Holy Spirit came and confirmed I had been forgiven. It was the coolest thing I started shaking without me causing the shaking. I was crying and I knew He had forgiven me. I felt so cleansed; from there on I was God’s. But of course Satan did bring the temptation and I started to drink again but it was causing problems in my marriage so I made a final decision to completely quit.
Now I am sober as can be and just recently God confirmed in me the baptism of the Holy Spirit with the speaking of tongues. I now understand why I went through and did all of those things in my past, I experienced darkness so I could truly know and see the beauty and light in Jesus. God has completely freed me from my past and my old ways, broken the chains in which I was chained by and am no longer in bondage to Satan lies. I forgive everyone who has ever hurt me, and I pray for them. I am now so blessed God has even changed my husband who is a wonderful man, and my beautiful son who was born premature at 32 weeks is now 2 and healthy as can be. God has overflowed our cup in our finances and our love in this family grows daily. God is so amazing and I can only give my Jesus Christ all of the glory and the entire honor for all he has done in my life. Thank You my God and may You be glorified though this testimony. Amen!
No comments:
Post a Comment